Impulse: Bookshelf

I've run out of space to put bookshelves. I've run out of patience paying $40 for them to snap, buckle, crumble and fall down. I searched the internet for clever alternatives, thinking about Japan and their space issues--how they build up instead of out. 

Pinterest and Etsy both offered a solution that resonated: a hanging "bookshelf". Trouble was the price tag for all of them sat between $150-$250. 

Admittedly, their shelves were beautiful, hand-tooled, hand-made, with woods sourced from heaven itself. I'd source my wood out of old crack houses if I wouldn't have to fight crack heads thinking I'm there to steal leftover copper dust. Asbestos be damned, I'm resourceful. With my luck I'd accidentally stumble on excellent driftwood, only to be sued by some government for tampering with an old shipwreck relic or something. I'll take my chances getting sued at Walmart. 

 For this project you'll need:

1. Drill

 2. Level

 3. Shower Hooks (12pk x3) $1.67 

4. Dowels (7 7/8" x4) $2.66 

5. Large Buttons (6pk x4) $2.57 

6. Yarn $6.78 

7. Nylon String $5.17 

8. 10x21/2" Deck screws or some other type of long, course thread screw (1 box) $8.97 

 TOTAL: $46.85 +TAX 

Let's say altogether its $50, but it takes around 30 seconds to assemble depending on your DEX score and you get FOUR of them, not one.

STEP 1: Measure nylon string to 8" (20cm) and cut. Do this 12 times, total.

STEP 2: Tie string around dowel, create a space, and knot. Do this 3 times per dowel.

It should look like this. Do this for every dowel, set them aside.

Goes without saying, honestly, that you should decide where you have wall space to put this shit. I happen to be blessed with an ungodly amount of wall space because this old house is held together with cemented rat bones from 1920 and sheets of bedrock. I mean to say I don't own a drill powerful enough to just hang whatever I want anywhere I want. I have to use generational rage and the collective pushing power of all the women in the middle of labor on earth at the same time to make a hole. This works for me because I can put a hole wherever the Gods/Demons governing this house allow.

STEP 3: Measure 24" (60cm) and mark THREE points (left, middle, right). Use a level. I was fortunate enough to have a level that is exactly 24 inches long, so I just ticked the left, ticked the center of bubble, and ticked the right. Even. Good. We like even.

STEP 4: Bore holes where you marked. These will help guide your screw in so you don't look...inexperienced... when it comes time.

STEP 5: Getchur screws and do the thing. Should be three holes, so you should be using 3 screws.

STEP 6: Slide the small loops on the knots you made on to the screw heads. Congrats.

Should look something like this.

STEP 7: Measure out 20" (50cm) of doubled up yarn. You can choose to make this longer or shorter later on with the other dowels. Cut 6 of these.

STEP 8: Thread the yarn through the back of the button hole, then cross it, and thread again.

STEP 9: Knot the two ends of the yarn together, and slide it over a shower hook.

Step 10: Hang the hook on the dowel.

The bottom should look like this. Thread a middle chunk through the loop and rest the butt of the book on the button. Like a little G-string. For a hardworking, night-class taking, single library who don't need no shelf.

You can hang up to 8 books on a dowel, depending on how heavy the book is. I don't suggest hanging the entire Britannica collection on yarn. If your books are heavier, or if you'd like to hang more of them, upgrade to a string that can sustain more poundage. The method is the same. 

You'll have more than enough yarn, nylon and screws to repeat this several times, so if you'd like to make more your only cost will be shower hooks, dowels and buttons.

That's it. Happy New Year!

Put Miles Between You & Them

Springfield, MO: I punch my shower until it shatters. 

Joplin, MO: Drinking and driving. 

Somewhere on Route 66: Gas is $4.99 and everyone is from 1950. 

Santa Cruz, CA: Ambient apathy. 

Santa Cruz, CA: infamous hammock. 

Santa Cruz, CA: mandala soup makes old man hands. 

Santa Cruz, CA: preaching the gospel of blue mountains to curly headed folk. 

Santa Cruz, CA: since named "green shit" AKA brandy and monster. 

Somewhere, NM: that mountain wears halos. 

Phoenix, AZ: a challenge to warm every heart. especially mine.

Tucson, AZ: Pan Blanko and his own green. 

Phoenix, AZ: I start drawing again.

Phoenix, AZ: changing tires, rotors, and break pads. 

Tucson, AZ: before I punched someone i've known for almost 20 years, after Pan Blanko was done with this shit. 

Tucson, AZ: punched him too. but he wanted it. 

Tucson, AZ: drew again. 

Tucson, AZ: underdressed for every event; having drinks bought for me. 

Tucson, AZ: Pan Blanko

Tucson, AZ: digger digs 6 strings. 

Tucson, AZ: J and B. 

Tucson, AZ: Pan Blanko's Ma. She got me drunk and gifted me a lighter. Obviously a God. 

Tucson, AZ: Diablo Burger. 

Tucson, AZ: relevant stall work. 

Tucson, AZ: spicy pickle from a glass jar. 

Cliff Castle, AZ: "Luke" the dishwasher hunchback and vanilla shake.

Tucson, AZ: Hell is for Heroiks PT 2. 

Texas.

Philosohorizontals

For a short moment in my life, I lived in Tucson. Met a bunch of unique people. So many in fact, that I realized later that it wasn't that hard. Every person in my network located in the strip of desert from Phoenix to Tucson is what I like to refer to as a horizontal philosopher.
Each of them has this incredible unique personality that doesn't stop to deal with outside bullshit. They're smart, judged by their cover, and keep you thinking. The blend of bohemian rigged lifestyles paired with whatever they can afford to get them stoned or drunk makes them some of those most resilient, depthy, ingenuitive people I've ever met. Seriously, one of my friends survived as long as he could on the desert, eating berries and small game because he wanted to.

This may not be a special thing if you know a lot of hippies or live in Oregon. Kind of a neat thing to me considering it's the desert and Pan is literally insane.

I went to visit them a couple of months ago and managed to take a few pictures in moments of sobriety.

This is a point between Prescott and Phoenix where you can smoke and not be arrested for almost starting a fire. Its meant for tourists.

The greatest thing I discovered in that visit was realizing how many people lay down. I took tons of Pan sleeping because he sleeps literally anywhere comfortably. I've only ever seen this with Nardo before, but Pan takes it to another level entirely.

I mean it's like as long as he can rest his belly on something remotely soft, he's good. Like a snake or a small child.
and then there's Atmos, and people who don't even care where they're lying:

In two out of three occasions, they laid on me.


Conversation among my philosophers is key. If you can't hold one, they typically don't want anything to do with you.

Any space, wide or closed, is used for drinking, writing, dreaming, smoking, yelling, fucking and crying. 

Some of them are quiet, and share their thoughts only when they're finally sure you'll understand. 

Unafraid to share their treasures once you've earned their trust. 

Or to be themselves; unashamed. 

They enjoy their lives in the desert that forged them,

made them famous... 

and taught them valuable lessons.